Til Death Do Us Part
by ndfrk411
Summary: You must read! Pegasus get shot by ?. Joey gets ?. Can't tell! Read and review! If I get ten or more reviews, I'll make a second one. Tenth person gets to be in the story!


'Til Death Do us Part

This is what happens at my house. Daily.

Brad Parks

Author note: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. So shut up and read! Oh, and another thing. The stories change quickly so if you get lost, it's your own damn fault.

(Pegasus and Mai are sitting in their living room. Pegasus is reading a magazine (National Geographic: Egyptian Golden Eyeballs) and Mai is drinking a shot of banana rum. Pegasus looks up from his magazine)

Pegasus: Mai dear? Why did we get married?

Mai: Why ask silly questions! We got married because you seduced me and we eloped. 

Pegasus: I mean considering our age difference. I'm like 85 years older than you!

Mai: Yes, but our love is true! Age doesn't matter. 

Pegasus: Oh, ok. Never mind. (he goes back to reading.)

Mai: My drink is empty. Do you want anything while I'm up?

Pegasus: Yes, bring me a Strawberry Daiquiri. 

(Mai leaves and comes back 5 minutes later.)

Mai: Here you are, my shnuckums.

(Pegasus drinks and falls over dead.)

Mai: Oh my!

(The screen switches to the next story.)

Yugi: Joey, I think my wife's cheating on me.

Joey: Why do you say that?

Yugi: Well, one day I came home from work and I saw Ishizu kissing Bakura!

Joey: Maybe she had something stuck in her teeth...

Yugi: I saw tongue!

Joey: Maybe she was choking!

Yugi: You make the dumbest excuses. And another thing. Why are you drinking so muck vodka?

Joey: I heard it makes you live 5 more years... uh... I mean... (Joey falls off the bar stool)

Yugi: Eww! You just threw up on my shoe! Those are the new Dolce and Cabana! 

Joey: Uh... I think... aliens infest my vomit... BLAH! (He throws up again)

Yugi: I need to go home. TAXI! (Yugi leaves and goes home)

Ishizu: Yugi, why are you home so early?

Yugi: Is that a bad thing?

Ishizu: Well, no, but you've worked such a hard day. You should enjoy yourself.

Yugi: Joey got drunk so I thought it was best I let him puke.

(Then a guy in Yugi's clothes runs out the door.)  
Yugi: Who was that?!?

Ishizu: Um... the plumber! Remember, I called the plumber about our... broken kitchen sink!

Yugi: I guess he was naked when he came over. At least he did his job and showed some crack!

Ishizu: Alright, alright! He's my fiance. Happy?

Yugi: You cheated on me? You slut!

(Ishizu slaps him.)

Yugi: Let me rephrase that. You whore!

Ishizu: You know Yugi, I never liked you. I just wanted your money. 

Yugi: Thank god you haven't killed me yet.

Ishizu: That was for tomorrow. Well, now I get all your dough! So your in a big shit hole!

Yugi: I don't think that's necessary. We signed a prenuptial agreement. 

Ishizu: We never signed nothing! 

Yugi: Remember our wedding night?

Ishizu: Not really. I got drunk.  
Yugi: You signed the agreement while you were plastered.

Ishizu: Lucky bastard. It's not a problem anyways. My new boyfriend is rich and wealthy!

Yugi: Let me guess... a 90 year old man?

Ishizu: At least I can get someone.

Yugi: You are wasting your time. Personally, I don't care if you leave.

Ishizu: Fine then! (Ishizu turns around. She opens the door and falls off the ledge.)

Yugi: Finally the witch is dead!

(Then we go to Joey and Bandit Keith)

Joey: We're gonna settle this feud right here, right now!

Bandit Keith: Haha! You? You're a shrimp! 

Joey: I'm not a seafood!

Bandit Keith: Fine, your a chicken!

Joey: Oh, that's it! (Joey shoots and guess what! Keith dies.)

(We go back to Mai with the police)

Policeman: Okay, m'am, tell your story.

Mai: Well, I was making some cookies, and then suddenly, I heard gunshots. I ran in here to see what happened, but it was only the TV. So I go back to my cooking. I come back and Pegasus was in fact dead!

Policeman: Thank you.

Chief: Look what I found in the flour jar. (He waves a gun in the air)

Mai: Who would be stupid enough to hide a gun in a cookie jar?

(They stare at her)

Mai: Me?

(Then we go to Yugi and his problems.)  
Yugi: How am I gonna cover this up? Aha! (Yugi pulls out the toilet paper) I'll tell them she was mummifying herself! (Yugi leaves a note on the corpse and flies to a remote location in Guam.)

(Then Joey dies because Serenity took off the bandages and shoots Joey. She thought it was a wild bear.) 

(Then we go to Mai in jail)

Mai: You're telling me I can't take a shower?!? And this cell! It needs some major redecorating.

Guard: Everyone gets the same, Ms.

Mai: Well, can I massage your back?

Guard: Sure!

(Mai massages and grabs the cell key. She escapes the jail and runs to her mother's house)

Mai: Mom, what do I do? I need some motherly advice!

Mom: I told you this would happen if you didn't settle down with a nice boyfriend! 

Mai: But mom!

Mom: Don't you but me, young lady. You are in this yourself now!

Mai: (Scoffs) You are a big butthole!  
Mom: Is that the best you can do, you slut?

Mai: You bitch!

Mom: Hooker!

Mai: At least I don't need Viagra!

Mom: Oh, that does it!

(Mom leaps at Mai and she grabs her hair. She swings her around her head and lets go. Mai shatters the window and falls out.)

Mom: Little skank. 


End file.
